***Disclaimer: I understand that there are many interpretations and definitions of fitness. In this article, I am using the term “fitness” to refer specifically to the behaviors and practices associated with aesthetics (muscle mass, low bodyfat).
You’re thrilled. You’re excited – ecstatic, even. After months of grueling work, you finally fit into your skinny jeans. You can look down and actually see your toes. You ran your first half marathon! You’ve been diligent about getting plenty of rest, keeping junk food to a minimum, and working out several times a week. You feel light on your feet and your coworkers can’t stop commenting on how great you look nowadays. You’re beaming with pride and you’re practically walking on clouds now that you’ve reached your goal.
So you go out and celebrate with a martini. Then two. You order a giant platter of cheesy nachos as an appetizer, followed by a plate of taquitos. After that, you make a beeline for the nearest frozen yogurt shop and go to town on the sugary toppings. You fall into a drunken stupor and pass out on your bed with sauce stains dribbling down your shirt.
Ahh, so what? you say. That’s one night of celebration. No harm, no foul. Except… you wake up the next morning and you find yourself reaching for the pastries before your mind can figure out what you’re doing. Bummer. The day is shot; might as well go all out the rest of the day, right?
Soon enough, your gym membership is gathering dust and your jeans become progressively tighter (again!) by the day. You’re upset, but you’re also in denial. You’ve worked way too hard to get in shape – how could anything possibly move you away from that sweet spot?
Here’s the thing, folks: everyday makes a difference. You can’t train hard and eat right only three days out of the week and call yourself a fitness buff. There is no five-days-on, two-days-off (more commonly known as The Weekend) schedule that you can follow and still expect to have abs. Fitness is every damn day. It doesn’t need to be 100%, but it should be close.
Though one isolated cheat meal won’t affect you, what’s really going to get you into trouble is if you extend that meal through the weekend. Repeatedly. Then slowly let it leak into Monday, Tuesday, and the rest of the week. Pretty soon, your weight is creeping back up and your face is filling out. Oops. Little bites are nothing, but added together, they become something big. Remember: just because you’re eating the crumbs from that brownie pan doesn’t mean you’re not consuming calories. They still count. (Seriously.)
Living a fit life is more than about a sound nutrition and training regimen; it’s also about having a fit mindset. In the beginning, you’ll find that you likely need a lot of extrinsic motivation to make the right decision. You bribe yourself with gifts for when you reach mini milestones, you secure a workout partner so you’re less likely to skimp out on a session, and you need to feed off of constant positive encouragement to keep going. Motivational pictures, videos, and quotes clutter your desktop as you seek to draw motivation from outside sources at the start of each new day. More days than not, you just don’t feel like doing the work. But you dig deep and keep going anyway.
Eventually, that quiet voice inside your head becomes increasingly louder and that fire inside you burns stronger. There’s no question over whether or not you’re going to get up early to get in a lift before work. You order a chicken salad (double meat with dressing on the side) when you go out to eat – and you don’t even bat an eyelash. You want to eat healthy, wholesome foods. You look forward to your daily sweat session. You begin to see exercise no longer as punishment but a privilege and a right.
You understand that you have the right to treat your body with respect, and you are more than willing to do so.
That moment marks the transition from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation. Congratulations, my friend – you’ve crossed the giant chasm.
Then and only then will you understand that fitness is not a one-night stand. If you view fitness as a short-term gig, you’re doomed for failure. Think of yourself as being married to fitness: you’ll have disagreements sometimes, you may go days without communicating after a fight, you may not always want or need to be around each other all the time – but at the end of the day, you’re committed to staying together for life.
Cheeseburgers and Oreos? They’re long-distance relationships. You love each other, but you don’t get to enjoy each other’s company everyday. Maybe every weekend. Maybe every two weeks.
Master the simple, basic rules of nutrition and implement them into your life day in and day out: prioritize protein at every meal, consume plenty of vegetables (something I’m working on myself), and consume your carbs in the peri-workout window. This is, in my opinion, the basic foundation of quality nutrition that should first be solidified before delving into more advanced styles of eating (eg. intermittent fasting, carb backloading).
With regards to exercise, don’t go all out. If the last time you stepped into the gym was back when the Backstreet Boys were still around, you probably shouldn’t start off on a six-day schedule. Ease into it – three times a week will be more than enough to begin with. Be patient. You didn’t get out of shape overnight, did you? So why should you expect to whip right back into tip top condition after a week? Remember thatprogress, however slow, is still progress. Be proud of yourself; at least you had the mojo to even start. That in itself is a big step.
Ask yourself this: is what you’re doing now something you can sustain for the rest of your life? If you’re crash dieting, I encourage you to take a step back, look up, and see the long-term vision. Make your fitness-related decisions a lifestyle choice. Make it work for you.
(A caveat: yes, it’s a lifestyle, but don’t let it consume you. Being a neurotic eater is no fun. Freaking out because you can’t figure out how many grams of butter was smeared onto your salmon at your favorite restaurant is… obnoxious. If you missed out on a holiday dinner because you thought getting to the gym during that hour was more important, you need to seriously re-think your priorities.)
Just as love is a decision, so is fitness. It should revolve around your life and not the other way around.
About Sohee Lee
Hi there and welcome – I’m so excited you’ve made it here! My name is Sohee Lee and I’m a formerly California-, now NYC-based fitness buff. I recently graduated in June of 2012 with a BA in Human Biology (concentration in Psychosocial and Biological Determinants of Health) from Stanford University. I’m also a nationally qualified NPC bikini competitor (though my opinion on competing at this point is pretty mehh) and am currently studying to become a Precision Nutrition certified nutritionist and obtain my NSCA-CSCS.
If you don’t feel like reading everything below (which I completely understand – I mean sometimes I don’t shut up), then here’s a bullet-point version of me in a nutshell:
- eating disorder for 8 years, discovered weightlifting and fell in love
- shipped off to Stanford thinking I would study sports medicine, but discovered that fitness was my true calling
- graduated in June 2012 and spent the summer interning at Cressey Performance, the nation’s elite baseball training facility
- currently working in Connecticut as a strength coach
- also an online training and nutrition consultant and a contributing writer to Bodybuilding.com (woohoooooo!!)
How I Got Into Fitness
I’ve been physically active my entire life, starting with swimming at the age of 2. I’ve since participated in gymnastics, tap dancing (yeah, really), cheerleading, baseball, track, soccer, swimming, and cross country. I was an endurance athlete and, at one point, dipped into some dangerous territories. Read more about my battle with my eating disorder here and how I climbed my way out of the abyss.
My Take on Training
I believe in prioritizing the compound movements and saving the accessory movements for later, if at all. I believe in lifting heavy, regardless of whether you’re leaning out or trying to build mass. I believe that training should complement your diet, not compensate for your crappy nutrition. I believe that pink dumbbells should be used for rehab purposes only (ladies, I’m looking at you), and that nothing is quite more badass and sexy than a man or woman who can dominate in the weight room.
My Take on Nutrition
Hearing the following statements make me cringe:
- Too much protein will damage your kidneys.
- Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and if you skip it, you. Will. Die.
- Small, frequent feedings keep your metabolism up and everybody should eat this way.
- Not eating for more than 4 hours at a time will cause your muscles to atrophy.
- You should never, never eat junk food lest the calories race straight to your hips, ass, and face. And stay there forever.
- You can say goodbye to alcohol.
Why I Created This Site
I made this site for you, dear reader. For years, I’ve spent every minute of my free time absorbing everything I could about fitness. I’ve worked with a number of trainers, learned what worked and what didn’t, and stumbled through many roadblocks to get to where I am now. Also, I like to write, and I want to share my stories with you. I have many.
I’m a lover of all things psychology (hence my academic area of focus); I’m intrigued by everything that makes us who we are as humans. Social relationships, the psychology behind our decisions… they all play into making us unique individuals.
When it comes down to it, fitness in and of itself is not what I’m passionate about; it’s you and what’s inside that noggin of yours. It’s what exists between me and you – this thing called a connection. A bond. I get such a high off of nurturing something so intangible and watching as we help each other in some way. How can you help me? You can start by helping me help you. Ask me questions, prod my brain, contact me! I’m here to make your life better. Whether that’s by providing you with a thought-provoking or entertaining blog post in the morning as you sip your heavenly java or by working with you as your training and nutrition consultant to transform your physique, I’m here, and I’m ready.