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Are you a MEATHEAD?


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This was posted by Shanna Girod on Myspace, all you physique folks will enjoy a good laugh:

What a meathead is!!! Attention all bodybuilders!

So, according to a close colleague of mine, I have been so graciously dub a “meathead” according to his college football standards (mind you from the early 80s)
As always (since you all know how my crazy mind works from previous blogs) I must inform you that this title has often puzzled but humored me.
So, you say what is a meathead and how do you become one..
Please read and we shall evaluate if you are a TRUE meathead.. male or female:
MEATHEAD:….

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An enormously muscular guy who cannot hold a conversation about anything other than weight-lifting and protein shakes. Gets upset very quickly when he cannot complete his own sentences and thoughts. Can be found at nightclubs wearing shirts that are 10 sizes too small (if at all). They are by far the most closely related human beings to that of apes, chimpanzees, and other primate. They are evolutionary hindered and are less capable of following directions than my dead hampster. ….

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Typically a rather muscular person who walks around with their arms out to their side. Have no fear and love to start fights for no reason. Anthony or “Tony” is a typical meathead name. Shaved head and tattoos are characteristics of a meathead. Also known as a hardass. They carry around gallons of water acting to be some sort of muscle machine. ….

Meathead:”yo john, give me 20 bucks and ill knock this bitch ass out” ….

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One who wears cutoff t-shirts, lift weights, and drinks gallon jugs of water. Usually plays football, wrestles, and is very muscular. They tend to have short hair, and frequently wear sleeveless shirts. Drinking protein shakes and shopping at Hollister are also essential parts of the average meathead’s day. Meatheads also tend to abbreviate where they live by putting the first letter of the city, and adding *town after. In addition to lacking high IQs, meatheads tend to stereotype things and people completely wrong. ….

Common meathead responses:
– “Bro let’s down this protein shake then go to the gym.”
– “Dude that guy has a Fall Out Boy shirt, do you think he’s one of those Emos?
– >>Smashes aluminum can on head< < ....... .... .... .... ..So, meathead fashion, I must tell you that in order to become a meathead you must first be a juicehead. Now, there are those of us whom just skip ahead of ourselves and go straight to meatheadome..but for those of you who, wonder what a juicehead is:
JUICEHEAD:….

Someone who uses steroids in order to aid in the production of muscle mass ….

Mark McGuire is a juicehead.
I think that says enough right there. So, there are those whom are juiceheads, but never quite graduate postjuice to meathead status, then there are those who start as juicys and gradually go towards meatdom, and then those whom just dive in head first and aim for the meat…….

.. .. So, what are the tail signs that you are a meathead:
1. you can’t workout without flexing in the mirror atleast once..
2. you walk by the mirror and slightly raise your shirt to catch a quick shot of that new abdominal line you got..
3. “ssssss” and “uuuuugh” are just two of the heavenly awful grunts you make in the gym.
4. you spend longer than 2 hours at the gym.
5. you have your own locker in the locker room..
6.your picture is posted in the locker rooms autographed from a show you did 5 years ago.
7. you carry competition photos of yourself around in your wallet.
8. you have more than two gym memberships and you only paid for one…
9. you take more showers at the gym than you do at your own house..
10. you get a discount at the supplement store for your buying in bulk.
11. you have a lifetime tanning membership.
12. you have “knots” on your ass cheek from ummm… well… you know…
13. you use a “25 guage..” and THAT is small…. (you know who you are!! wink)
14. you know the best flavors of protein powder.
15. you can’t talk about “supplements”on the telephone or in text messaging because you are afraid you will get busted.
16. you still havent admitted to your friends you are a “roidhead.”
17. you have both in season and off season wardrobes…..
18. you swallow chunks or run to the locker room after sets and get excited over it..
19. you tan more than three times a week to “dry out.”
20. you use the phrase, “in tha zone…” during workouts…
21. you and your buddies cook homemade “test” in your kitchen ……
22. you drink only distilled water…
23. you pose in EVERY photo you take… even with your mother…
24. If you leave work early to catch a workout…..
25. Your wardrobe consists of free shirts from expos and supplement purchases.
26. You use your grandmother’s address to mail your “supplements”
27. You live by your watch, cause a meathead eats ATLEAST every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. and don’t catch one if he is late on dinner…. shit hits the fan.
28. You know the sales at all the grocery stores on chicken.
28. You don’t go to the gym to “workout,” you go to “train.”
29.You accuse your boyfriend or girlfriend of eating your food that you cooked, when if you took a moment to look you would see that its hidden in the fridge. like ANYONE wants to eat boiled chicken!!
30. If you say you are not a meathead but you hang out with >3 meatheads in your social circle, then you have been dubbed a meathead by association!!!
31. You can’t have too much sex because that lowers your testosterone levels and you will go “flat..” ?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
32. You think short term memory loss such as where the hell you put your keys or your friends’ names is humorous…

33. Rather than a set of nice glasses, you have a mound of mismatched shaker cups.. which you carry with you AT ALL TIMES!
34. you carry around a cooler with your food in it!

oh the list can go on, but I dont feel like adding it, but I am sure that you have! something to share with the rest of the meatheads!


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